Maw Maw's Eulogy 8.20.21

Thank you for being here today to celebrate the life of Maria Cherry, or Maw Maw as I know her. It means a lot to us that you are here.

Maw Maw was born in Chiusa Sclafani, in Sicily, Italy on May 28, 1931. She married Joseph Cherry when she was 23. If you do not know the story of how Maw Maw and Paw Paw met, it’s one of my favorite to tell. In June of 1952, both of Paw Paw’s parents passed away. He was 48, still single and wanting to travel and meet family. So, he wrote to Maw Maw’s uncle, who his parents had been in contact with, about his intent to visit. When Maw Maw heard of this connection with family in America, at a time when many Italians were immigrating to the States, the story goes that she ran down the streets of Sicily yelling, “Vayo na la ‘Merica” or “I’m going to America!” I picture her being bright-eyed and hopeful. It seems like she had a feeling that something was on the horizon.

In March of ’53, Paw Paw traveled to Italy. He was able to meet the whole Cerasa family, or as we call them here, the Cherry family. You see, Maw Maw’s mom was Paw Paw’s first cousin, which yes, made Maw Maw and Paw Paw second cousins. When they first met, she was 21. She was still wearing black every day for her brother who had passed, as a sign of grief and bereavement. Paw Paw asked her, “Why are wearing black?” She said, “It’s for my brother who passed.” He said, “I’m so sorry; when did he pass?” to which she replied, “3 years ago.” To add to the interesting story of their first moments together, she called him Uncle Joe out of respect, as he was 25 years her senior.

We don’t know exactly what Paw Paw felt in those moments; he never really said. But after meeting Maw Maw, and seeing her a few times in his 2-3 month visit, he asked her parents for her hand in marriage. He gave them a timeline, too. He needed to know within two weeks because he would have to extend his passport and his stay. Basically, his question was, “Can I marry your daughter and take her back to America?” Her parents said it was up to her, leaving her with quite a decision to make—whether to stay in her beloved country with her family or take a leap of faith, get married to a man she’d known for 3 months, and move to America.

It was June when he asked for her hand, and on October 3, 1953, they were married and resided in Italy for one year. He was 48, and she was 23. We are told they were “living their best life”— visiting family, eating the best food, and going out dancing. My mom says it best, “It was true love. It was their destiny.”

Once the necessary paperwork was complete, they entered the U.S. on November 11, 1954. They settled in Thibodaux and lived in the cherished house on St. Charles Street, fixing it up over the years to meet their needs, with Paw Paw’s favorite patio in the back and Maw Maw’s den where she spent most of her time. They built two additional homes on the property, and as most of you know, our family still owns the three houses on this property today. In fact, it’s amazing to think that I have lived in all three of the houses at some point in my life!

Their first child, my mom, Virginia, was born on March 18 of ‘57. Around that time, Paw Paw also helped to bring Maw Maw’s parents to America, and they lived with them in the home for 10 years. When mom was close to school age, she spoke mainly Italian, so Maw Maw decided that it was time to learn English. Maw Maw worked up the courage to go to night school, and Paw Paw helped her since he was fluent in both. This was a huge step for Maw Maw, as she spent most of her time at home. She also had to take up studies to become an American citizen, which she did. The birth of my nanny, Patricia, followed on March 7, 1966, making Maw Maw’s children 9 years apart. She ultimately had four grandchildren.

Paw Paw’s shoe repair business was their main means of financial stability. For work, Maw Maw babysat for many years for well-known families in town like the Arceneaux’s and the Caillouet’s. She loved the children, and they loved her. Many became a part of the family to this day. Maw Maw’s elaborate cake decorating skills also earned her side cake jobs for weddings and other events.

But without a doubt, what Maw Maw is most remembered for is her strong devotion to St. Joseph, which was ingrained in her from a young age. She began her tradition of the St. Joseph Altar in 1963 as a surprise for Paw Paw. She, with the help of her mother, had set up a small altar in the house, and when he returned home that day, it brought him to tears. From that day on, starting in ’64, large public altars were displayed in their home for more than 40 years. Maw Maw was actually the first to bring the St. Joseph Altar tradition to this area—honestly, to this state and very likely beyond that. You have to consider that this was before churches or schools chose to partake in this popular tradition.

I can’t express my gratitude for being immersed in this tradition from the first years of my life. Allow me to share what it was like growing up with this amazing tradition in the family.

St. Joseph’s feast day is on March 19. If you think the finished altar was a sight to see, you should have seen the extent of the preparation. It was quite an undertaking! As a child, I knew that my family would pack our bags to move in with Maw Maw and Paw Paw months before the altar. To make an altar such as this happen, it required months of work! Mom needed to live with Maw Maw to get the maximum amount of baking done each day. There were cookies to make—S cookies, sesame cookies, fig cookies, tetùs, cocoons, sfingi, pignulata, pasti (a pineapple-filled cookie)—up to about 13 kinds of cookies per year! There were cakes to bake—cross-shaped cakes, Bible cakes, lamb cakes. And the most impressive—the intricately-designed breads, which in my lifetime I’ve never seen anyone else be able to replicate. If only you could have seen the food spread on the tables throughout the house, where she kept the finished products and laid them out to cool. There wasn’t an inch not being used! I’m not going to lie; I would conveniently pass by those tables to sneak a bite, like a warm S-cookie before icing! The oven never took a break, and neither did Maw Maw or mom. They worked like a well-oiled machine—organized, methodical and precise in every measurement. Mom says they used as much as 400 pounds of flour each year between all of the breads and the cookies and cakes!

All of this prep led up to the one, big day. In addition to getting the day off from school, I most enjoyed eating pasta Milanesa, fried vegetables, stuffed artichokes, and the mouth-watering bread that she would provide for lunch—and not only for the family, but for the public too! I can smell it all now. My classmates, and the entire student body at St. Joseph Elementary School, and even E.D. White, would walk to St. Charles Street to visit the altar. I got to help making the gift bags—one of each cookie, a piece of bread, a lucky bean and a prayer card. Thinking back, I was so proud that this was MY Maw Maw, MY mom, MY family who made it possible. You may think, why did she do it? Why do all of this work? Maw Maw spent years of her life making these altars, and she never once looked for acclaim or praise. She was humble, and she did it all out of devotion and love for God, St. Joseph, and her Church. She was devout, and she loved the Vigil Mass here every week and was loyal to saying her rosary. So, for me it is clear, that her passion for the altar was driven by her faith, her trust, and her conviction, and it is truly at the core of who she was.

So what did Maw Maw do with this immense amount of food?! She would donate it—to local churches, nursing homes and families. In fact, Maw Maw’s favorite pastime was feeding others! I like to say, food was her love language. She was always in the kitchen, mainly “behind the scenes” of life. In line with her heritage, she had a very giving heart, and she was generous and hospitable. It was in her blood!

If you went over, you had better be prepared to eat! She couldn’t rest if you refused a plate. “Come-a get-e! I have-e some chicken-e and some meatball-e. Manga!” And if you still refused (how could you?), she would fix you a plate to take home.

Our family would gather at her house every Sunday after church for lunch; it was never a question. Maw Maw loved these family gatherings, and she would cook for an army! I can taste it now—her pasta of course, her meatball soup, or her Pescedovoo (my personal favorite, an egg and breadcrumb patty, which mom made in her honor just recently). Maw Maw’s house was also the perfect location to celebrate Mardi Gras every year, and of course, all holidays! These family moments at her home are the ones we will always have with us.

There are some things about Maw Maw that you may not know. As wholesome and strait-laced as she was, she loved her soap operas! Her favorite was Days of Our Lives. I grew up watching these with her, and I always wondered—how many times can Marlena die, right? Maw Maw also enjoyed the classics like Lawrence Welk and all of the shows on Nick at Night…game shows too! I most enjoyed our sleepovers where she let me stay up with her to watch TV in the den.

For exercise, she got creative. She would power walk in a circle in the living room while watching the boob tube. It was a funny sight. I remember joining her at times, not understanding why we were walking in circles. Most of the time, I’d tire out and she’d keep going. Sometimes she would hum or sing while walking. I can imagine her in today’s world—she’d be wearing a smart watch and counting her steps. She would be fascinated! And if y’all don’t know, Nonna power walks at least six miles a day—I wonder where she gets it from? Maw Maw also stayed active by tending to her flowers and plants on her patios, and sweeping and doing housework.

I also can’t forget to mention that Maw Maw had a knack for crochet and knitting. She made many blankets and bonnets and booties, not just for family but for friends as a gift. She made and sewed costumes for my sister and me. Our favorites of course were Belle and Jasmine, and I think we lived in those costumes for a while. As she got older, it’s amazing how her hands were still so steady when it came to needlework. I also cannot keep from mentioning her boisterous personality and her Italian phrases like “God ziggity potate” when she was frustrated.

On October 3, 2004, Maw Maw and Paw Paw celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary. Paw Paw was 99, and he passed the following year. It was a given that Maw Maw would spend the rest of her life grieving her soulmate and life-long best friend. She was in a permanent state of grief. We did our best to ease her loneliness—mom spent hours with her on the phone and dad visited on his lunch hour every single day. I think we can all agree that she was never the same after that time, and her broken heart slowly began to be taken over by Alzheimer’s. We found her a dog, Maximus, to keep her company. It gave her someone to take care of, and it was good diversion for her. I can hear her now yelling at him, “moscarato,” or “you little rascal!” But I don’t think Max spoke Sicilian. Unfortunately, we saw that she continued to slowly leave us mentally.

In March of 2015, Maw Maw was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Private sitters were hired to keep Maw Maw at home as long as we could. In 2016, God meant for me to land back on St. Charles Street, and I moved in the blue house next door. I knew in my heart that it was God’s plan for me to be there for her at that time, in case she needed anything. Plus, we were able to see her more often. She enjoyed seeing my girls, Ella and Eva, and they helped to raise her spirits. She would watch them play outside, and we’d go over almost every day to visit. Until one day, I overheard her on the phone with my mom that the “little neighbor is here.” At that point, I knew she was going to forget me, and she was going to forget all of us. But it was destiny that it worked out the way it did, and that the girls and I had that extra time with her. And whether I was just the neighbor or not, I was still there for her until we had to move her to the nursing home in October of 2017.

My favorite memories of Maw Maw are many. Her showing me how to shape an S-cookie, how to use a tiny razor blade to make the cuts and designs in the bread, letting me put eyes on the lamb cakes or decorate my Pupa Cu L'ova, which is a Sicilian Easter cookie shaped like a chicken with a boiled egg inside. You know, I don’t speak Sicilian, but I sure sound I do today. The takeaway is, she wanted to teach me and share this big part of her life with me. She wanted me to learn and carry on this tradition. My 13-year-old, Ella, was blessed to have seen and experienced these things for about seven years before Maw Maw got sick. I will teach my girls what she taught me because that’s what she would want, and it is most beautiful way that we can carry on her memory. (Mom, I might need some help).

Now, we believe she is at peace. Her mind has been restored, and she has been reunited with God and with our beloved Paw Paw Joe. It is comforting to think that she can now remember everything that she missed in those final years. She knows how much we love her. And I have no doubt she power-walked her way into Heaven as fast as she could, arms swinging and all! In the end, we know that every single cookie, bread or cake—every knitted blanket or bonnet—was a token of her love for each of us. And her love is what she would want us to remember today.